Don’t Take ANYTHING Personally

At the urging of my sister, I’ve been reading The Four Agreements: A PracticalGuide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) by Don Miguel Ruiz. There are a few concepts that seemed a little ‘out there,’ to me, but for the most part, it is an interesting book that offers a unique perspective and served as a reminder about the importance of keeping an open mind.

As you can tell by the title, there are four fundamentals that the reading is centered around. I admit that I’m only about a third of the way through, but easily the most intriguing concept I’ve read about is: Don’t Take Anything Personally.

It all makes sense to me. When someone tries to belittle or disrespect you, it is more of a reflection on something going on in their world or something wrong with how they view the world.

That is easier said than done and sounds difficult to practice because I feel like my instinct is to listen to my ego and go on the attack when I feel threatened. I know it’s something I have to improve upon in social situations and in the work place.

Like most people, I have a lot of pride so in social situations when I get rejected by a girl or  feel like I got ‘punked by some dude,’ my impulse is to fire back with disparaging words or actions of my own. The book describes that negative energy as poison and you’re merely passing it from one person to another when you internalize the initial remarks --- take them personally.

This will be even more difficult for me in the work place as my job is an extremely significant part of my identity. When my work is criticized or something does not go as I would like, there are times when I feel like my actions, and thus me personally, is being scrutinized. This, in turn, makes me feel uncomfortable so I feel attacked.

The only way I can improve on this and not take as much personally (I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to eliminate everything!) is to be mindful of this agreement.

And on that note .. Party on.

- Mike D.